


Last Will

by A_Weak_Raven_Child



Category: Ammonite (2020), Lady Bird (2017), saoirse ronan - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian Character, hard life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Weak_Raven_Child/pseuds/A_Weak_Raven_Child
Summary: One Love, beyond The death until The eternity.AWeakRavenChild.
Relationships: Saoirse Ronan & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	Last Will

**Author's Note:**

> Saoirse Ronan inspiration. The most beautiful human being in the world. 
> 
> AWeakRavenChild.

Sue was on the balcony, a cup of tea in her hands and the steam covering her nose. He watched the night from her position, calm, so luminescent; the streets below far away were lost in the distance.

Her penthouse gave an exceptional view of the city, the pollution of cars in its asphalt rivers, the nightlife, the always open places and the lanterns with their yellowish light painted the contemporary picture of a scene seen so many times in so many places.

The pajamas clung to her body in the gentle breeze that stirred her blond hair. Her body, refreshed, prepared for bed once again felt that loneliness that was disguised as freedom. The night before again, Jack slipped into her sheets, just trying to pass the time and feel the company that on many occasions she missed.

Not that Jack was in the place reserved for partner, partner or... boyfriend.  
Once it had been, going out, having dinner, parties with Jack's friends, movies, among other activities that take place in a relationship.

But it wasn’t enough; it wasn’t significant enough for the void in her to be completely filled, it wasn’t complete, there wasn’t uncontrolled passion that she wanted to feel, that all-consuming desire that would lead her to irrepressible cravings. There was friendship, companionship and comfort, but not that love, not the kind of loves that is necessary to have a relationship.  
However, the night before she allowed Jack to satisfy his needs so as not to feel that cloister closing in on her, that loneliness that sometimes did not let her think.

Jack had not been the only one, nor was it that her companions did parade, only that he had searched several for what he had not yet found. They were friendly, someone good, and someone funny, but that wasn't everything, at least not for her. So much was needed in them, so much that after a few months she felt miserably sad, and having to start over with another candidate left her exhausted. 

She finished her tea and went into the living room, there was nothing new on TV and he had already consumed a lot of his time on the internet, so he went to his room and grabbed a novel that he had just started... lying back on the pillows, she got carried away with reading, a little slow to tell truly, though entertaining enough to keep her awake for an hour.

...

She really thought she woke up, but the atmosphere was very light and in a way she knew it was a dream. Like when you only know, when there is no other possibility.

When she opened her eyes, in her dream, which was luckily her own room, she was startled when she felt a light weight on her bed. A weight that wasn’t her.

There was fear at first, when looking where the strange weight was she found a lean figure with short black hair. It was on her back, so all he could see was a white T-shirt and the beginning of equally white pajama bottoms.

After a brief moment of paralysis, she sat up quickly trying to get out of bed.

-Who are you?!

The figure turned, fixing her black eyes on her. She was a girl, a slim girl with deep and bright eyes, with slightly full lips and a pale complexion, somehow shine.

-Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm not going to hurt you - She replied with a deep but soft voice.

-Who are you?! - Sue repeated again, stifling a small cry.

The girl smiled reassuringly, got out of bed and walked over to Sue. Not too much, but what is necessary to see it in its entirety. She had a firm body concealed by white pajamas; she was barefoot and had a perceptible serenity in her movements, in her breathing.

-I am no longer anyone, now I am just a soul, who is still here.

-A dream? - She asked fearfully, the girl smiled again.

-Yes, a dream.

Silence fell over them, only broken by the sound of cars several floors below. Blue eyes over black eyes.

-And... And what are you going to do? - Sue asked more calmly. In dreams, if you died, nothing happened, it was fine.

-What you let me do or what you want me to do. 

She looked at her strangely, to be a dream it was very strange, generally her dreams was about her family and her daily activities, she never directs. Always depending on others.

The stranger stepped forward, taking her by the hand, still at a safe distance for both of them.

"Touch my chest, please," said the black-haired woman, drawing Sue's hand.

-For what?

-Please - his black eyes shone, her moisture was perceptible. 

Slowly he placed his hand on the left side of her chest, the softness of her small breast filling her palm and beyond the delicate, slow beat of his heart.

-Do you feel it? - He asked with tears already falling from his eyes.

-Yes.

Those little drops that slid down her cheeks, filled her with a feeling that she did not recognize instantly, it was affection, it was empathy, it was a newborn love or perhaps just an embryo, which would take shape if it was it destiny.

-Why are you crying? - She asked after a few seconds.

-Because I'm finally happy, my chest doesn't hurt anymore, I'm at peace. And Our Lord allowed me to see you for the first and perhaps the last time, if it’s His will.

-What is your name?

-My name does not matter, I will join the universe. My Lord awaits me.

-And if I want a memory? With what name will I remember you? - She asked slightly embarrassed.

-Name me - She said with a smile - it will surely be a beautiful name.

Sue thought for a few seconds, why was her dream so curious? Very outside normal. She no longer felt scared; the light environment around them was almost ethereal. So calm, unflappable.

-Tea, it’s a good name.

They smiled at each other.

-Why are you in my dream? - Asked with curious blue eyes, Tea fell in love again.

-It was a gift, when you wake up I'll be gone.

-And what do you want, what can I give you? I would have asked for a better gift - a melancholic look settled on his face

-You are everything I ever wanted, you are so beautiful, your voice is so soft. I saw you only once. But I was nobody and you were everything.

-Who were you? Please - begged.

-I was nobody, it was impossible for you to know me and for me it was even more impossible. We were from such different worlds and yet I was so lucky to see you.

-Sorry ... You ... Did you die?

That strange short haired girl shook with a smile. His eyes clouded over again.

-It can be said that way, in my opinion I was born again and this life will be better than the previous one.

-Did you love me? - She asked suspiciously, the strange girl could have been an obsessive madwoman.

-I loved you - when Tea saw her frown he added quickly - don't worry, I'm not someone who drugged you, or a dangerous insane, I just fell in love and I couldn't do anything just write my love for you. At any moment you will wake up and this will be just another dream.

-How can you love me without even knowing me?

-That’s what love is, really love - her face was serious and his thick eyebrows were straight - I would have given you my blood if you had asked me.

-I know it's too late and I can't do anything ... but why didn't you look for me? I could have helped you with whatever it took.

-I know you would have helped me and I thank you. I made the attempt, I said goodbye to you, I sent a letter to where perhaps, with the help of Providence, you would have read me but I don't know what happened. At least the Lord was merciful to me and gave me this time with you.

-I'm sorry ... really - there was no mistaking the regret in his voice - I guess you know my name.

-Don't worry, it should be that way. And yes, I know your name, I always mispronounced it. I believed that something of yours, your name said in a different way by me, could be mine, only mine.

Tears flooded her blue eyes, as it is that only in her dreams could she have such a love. So dedicated, so beautiful. How is it that only that kind of person existed in his subconscious and not in real life where he needed her.

-Do not! No no no, don't cry. I'm sorry ... I shouldn't have said that. Sorry.

-It’s not what you said - she said wiping her tears - don't worry ... where you have been all this time.

Tea brought a hand to Sue's cheeks, wiped away the remaining moisture, and planted a chaste kiss.

-I was waiting for someone like you, but I had as much chance of finding you as of healing myself.

As if by gravity, the two were drawn into a tight embrace, which allowed them to flood each other. The scent of Tea was out of this world, it smelled of stellar toothpaste, the Milky Way or ripe oranges in the hands of a baby.  
Sue smelled of books and peaches, and the morning sun shines through the dew. 

The most perfect puzzle would not have fit so perfectly, the Greek myth may have gained truth when these two beings linked as no one else had done since the foundation of the world. The breaths matched the same as the beating of their hearts.

Two rising stars, each pulsating in violet and blue life, sighing in fire and ether.

-Okay - Tea said leaving an unfathomable void when separating her body from Sue's - there is no time like now. I have understood it at the end of everything.

-At this moment what do you want from me? Tell me.

-I just want to lie down with you - Tea asked taking Sue's hands.

"Very well, no questions asked." She smiled warmly.

The two of them leaned their backs on the pillows, resting on the bed. One next to the other, shoulder to shoulder. Sue took Tea's hand and placed it on her chest, where the beat was strongest.

-Can I ask what you died of? - Sue mused.

-You can do it, my breathing had been bad for months, was it so painful, my chest hurt and my heart didn't beat normally. One day everything stopped and the world went dark. I feel like someone from centuries past, dying of romantic illnesses - he culminated in an amused laugh.

-How old are you? Or were you.

-Twenty-one years.

-Oh God! - Blue eyes on black - you had to live! How do you say that God is merciful?

-He is still compassionate - the hand on Sue's chest passed to her blonde hair - what if he preserved from a bad future? A life where I never knew you; a miserable life. A much more horrible death.

¡He is supposedly all powerful! - He exclaimed - How could he not have given you a better life? How could He not allow us to meet?

-He did! Here I am, and more than I ever wanted - Tea took Sue's face with both hands - it’s easier to accept fate than to fight it, He knows what is best for each one, I am sure.

Sue rested her head on Tea's shoulder, that young woman who had no paradigm of comparison in her life.

Full minds but nothing to say, the train never stopped. Until it stopped in Sue's mind.

-Did someone else have your love? Did you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? - She asked without seeing her.

-I thought I had ever fallen in love, I think she did have a part of my heart, but he made sure to break it - although his gaze fell there was no trace of the pain that there once was - then I tried, I tried so many times but it was too exhausting to be in a circle of disinterest. No one bothered to really know me, to know and accept all that love I had to give. I think if you had known me you would have passed to me too.

Her black eyes showed a pain so genuinely feminine that it broke Sue's schemes, only a woman would feel like this, only a soul so great, so rich and so beautiful in every way could inhabit a woman's body. And it felt so right, fair.

-You don't know me, I can see that - Sue smiled wryly, she didn't really know her.

-Sorry, I didn't mean to assume...

Sue stopped her, placed a hand under her chin and raised her until their gazes met again.

-You don't know me, you don't know how I am because if you did you wouldn't say that. These eyes that I am seeing would attract me like a moth to light, like a thirsty one and I would drop, I would sink until I could not get out and I would know you, I would spend my time discovering you, every part of you if you allow me. And I would not leave you, even if it did not work and we hated each other, I would not abandon you.

He had not finished speaking when the sobs shook the body of the black-haired, her shoulders tense like ropes, her eyelids tight and wet holding back the tears.

-Come here - he drew Tea against his chest, and caressed her short locks - don't cry, I think that in your life you've had enough to cry about.

-I do not cry of sadness, I cry because I have never been happier - with a broken and shuddering voice he continued - I never even remotely thought that this was possible, not even in dreams.

-What? Be happy?

-Yes, and being hugged and snuggled against a body without being thrown out, is wonderful.

Sue kissed her forehead, her cheeks, and her red nose. It felt good to hold someone, someone who loved you, who gave himself to you, helpless and full of devotion. It felt so good.

Sue's lips returned to her cheeks, then continued on her chin and finally brushed soft red lips, one touch, another, and another, until there was no separation between them.  
She never felt so pleasant and full of as many feelings as it was possible to recognize, never so reciprocated and so perfect, as clear as the day radiates in the morning, as thick and hot as blood.

They were linked for seconds that turned into minutes, until the need to breathe overcame the desire to kiss. Between gasps and short kisses, they lay flat on the bed.

Embraced and consumed with love, a love so long hidden and ignored, a nascent love hungry for more.

-Have you ever been with someone right? Sue asked, softer and slower caresses were given on the shoulders and neck.

-No ... yes, I really don't want to lie to you, but I don't know what you're going to think about me - the dark eyes showed fear and something very close to shame.

-Tell me - a caress on the cheek tried to reassure Tea - I have been with several people, it is not good because it is not ideal if you want love more than anything, but it is not bad either.

-It's that… it wasn't… consensual - said the black-haired woman - it was a long time ago, I wouldn't want to continue, please.

-Quiet, sorry. I shouldn't have asked - Sue had the feeling of protecting Tea from everything bad that had happened, but she instantly realized that it was too late and they only had what she was dreaming of.

-It doesn't matter, I wanted to be honest with you, I love you - a smile through the pain, and all the songs made sense, all the love poems.

-I don't know if I love you because I barely know you, but there is something in my chest that doesn't stop vibrating, heating up and expanding every time I see or touch you - Sue's gaze was feverish and yearning - and I don't want it to go away.

Tea moved forward capturing the blonde's thin lips, returning to that dialogue of gasps and slight moans.  
After a while of just kissing, they decided to continue exploring, movements, thrusts and touches not felt before, connected, sought.

They had never loved like this, so soft and firm at the same time, without the slightest hint of fear and discomfort, knowing what each one wants, giving it away. There really was no tomorrow, it was that morning, only that night would remember those two lovers complementing each other, covering each other, impregnating each other, giving everything.  
Between sighs and little cries his love was confessed, formed and sent to galaxies so far away that he has no memory. Surrendered and satiated, happy, grasping the ether with both hands, they were led into the territories of reverie. Tea knowing her time was over, gently shook Sue.

-Sue don't fall asleep, if you do I'll go, that was a deal - with urgency in his voice he shook her again - please don't do it, I want to finish spending my last moments here with you.

-I won't, I'm awake - wrinkling her eyes, she squeezed them lightly with her fingers - I'm awake in my dream.

They smiled at each other, kissing again. That was it, that was happiness on earth, having known love, the love between bodies, souls and spirits. The fullness of human existence, its purpose, being happy and being part of that great universe full and full of wonders, entering that primal and supreme will, that surrounds everything, that destiny prepared before being formed.

Fears and sins were compensated, wounds healed, questions answered, desires sent to heaven, the silence filled with so much harmony in an eternal song repeating itself over and over again. Love you.

-I love you, I love you. This love filled me with so much anguish that now they have vanished in your arms - Tea sat up sitting on the rumpled sheets bringing Sue with her - it was you, who I imagined in my bed, hugging me when I was afraid, who took my hand when I was I felt more alone. You were the yellow that I always wanted. You are my "Pansy", my song. How lucky am I.

-I don't want to let you go ... not now that I've found you - Sue felt her throat burning, her heart aching - tell God to leave you with me, please.

-I can't, I already entered with Him, now I am part of something that is much more of all this, of this earth.

\- P-Please - tears flooded two faces - as you follow just want to exist after living Is not that selfish?!

-My time is up, there is no way to return - it was so difficult to continue speaking, Tea felt herself being dragged by some external force - please, there is not much time left. Let me hold you one last time.

Sue nodded, Tea leaned her back against the back of the bed and her blonde sank into her chest supporting all her weight.

Tea wanted to stay like this forever, her head embedded in Sue's shoulder, smelling her scent for all eternity. But it was impossible. "Please," Sue begged, "one more moment." Just a little more.

-You know, despite having seen so many things that I regret, having gone through so much pain, if this ending is the same again, I would gladly repeat everything again, my whole life again. I know your real name, Sue is a nickname, I know your name. Even if you don't remember me later.

-I will remember you! I swear, I won't be able to forget you - she put her left cheek together with Tea's right - How could I forget you?

-You can't know love, I will remember you ... for all my eternity.

They kissed once more, trying to make the moment as long as possible. Make it immortal, imperishable.

Sue began to feel her eyes heavy, an unbearable fatigue, so heavy, she just wanted to sleep and at the same time she knew it was the end of everything. Tea felt that they were pulling on her with an enormous, irresistible force. Was time.

Sue fell even harder against her; she didn't want to let her go even as her semi-unconsciousness struggled, but Tea knew that resisting would be in vain and a bargain. Was time.

The beautiful blonde collapsed into a deep sleep of a dream, without images only sensations, a hand on her face, moisture on her cheeks, lips on her forehead, "I love you" and darkness.

She did not observe how a source of silver light slipped through the window of his room, rising rapidly towards the sky, leaving a beautiful trail of aromas, stars and oranges.

...

Sue opened her eyes, heavy as lead. She rubbed her hands on her face trying to wake up and wake up, the instant her fingers touched her face she felt a pasty moisture, when she looked at her pillow she realized the stain that was occupying her from the center outwards.

Sure she had cried, a lot but she couldn't remember why, maybe a nightmare or a sad memory. As she placed her bare feet on the ground, she felt a chill run through her, the window was open, and she quickly went to close it.

In the bathroom she washed her face, and noticed that her eyes were slightly swollen and red, yes, she definitely cried.

When she left her room, she went automatically to the kitchen and prepared her tea. 

Tea. 

Tea, her head hurt almost instantly, bringing back blurry memories of a girl with short dark hair and black eyes.

She did not know her, did not know who she was, or how she remembered her, only that immediately her eyes burned and were flooded with tears.

"I love you” “I love you “I love you"

Repeated constantly in her head, she fell to her knees hugging herself.

Tea. 

A kiss, a caress, a statement, everything mixed in her head like a collage of clippings, confusing and despairing her.

"I love you" "Pansy"

-Tea ... Tea...

That name, like a song.

As fast as he could, he searched his phone for that name.

And it all made sense.

-Oh Tea! How much I love you!

**Author's Note:**

> My own work, translated for me. Thank you.


End file.
